27 | Nov | 14

Richard Johnson

Service With A Smile?

How do I hate bad service? Let me count the ways. Tone, for starters. Either of boredom, when traders run through the specials of the day like train conductors in a foreign country calling out the strange names of the stations. Or the exact opposite, when they relay the menu as if they’re whispering life wisdom they’ve picked up in the Himalayas. And, when they tell you about the specials, their breath shouldn’t smell of old fags. Having a ‘smoking section’ round the back (or, in far too many cases, around the FRONT) is like having a peeing section in a pool. In a restaurant, the punter is faced with even more potential pitfalls. Like the patronising sommelier (restaurants should really try to instill the idea that becoming a master sommelier is not a rite of godhood). And the rude waiter, who knows that the customer is never right. There are restaurants out there which have made their reputation on bad service. Have a look at this. But what gets your goat about service on the streets?